…to be a single mom in the time of COVID-19

[I’ve been divorced] for five years. It was horrible. I thought my life was going to end and I would never be happy again. It was rough. It wasn’t something I chose.

Even though I didn’t want a divorce, I also didn’t want to become a bitter person. I didn’t want my kids to become bitter, and I also didn’t want to give them any reason to hate their dad. As much as it hurts the adults, I think the kids get caught in the middle.

We had our days where we were sad but we clung to each other and stuck it out. You take it a day at a time. Having kids gave me a reason to get up in the morning when I was going through really hard times and I thought life was going to end. I got up and kept going for my kids.

I have Cynthia who is in sixth grade at Heineman, I have Molly who is in fifth grade at Conley, and Elsie who is in third grade at Conley. 

Cynthia is very smart and she likes to be on top of things and get good grades. She’s very social and loving and she loves to do things for other people. All the time, she is doing things to cheer people up if she finds out they might be having a rough day. She is very much an encourager. 

Molly is very much an introvert and quiet, she likes to do her own thing. She’s also very sweet and very smart. She loves to surprise people with little notes in their day. She takes notes to her teachers all the time or leaves notes for me. I have sticky notes on my dash in my van of ‘Mom, I love you’ that are from her. 

Elsie is very much an extrovert and she’s a hugger and a toucher. She told me the other day ‘Mom I can’t do this. I’m a hugger, I don’t like quarantine.’ My favorite word to describe Elsie is precocious because you never know what that child is going to say or do next. She definitely keeps life exciting.

Especially during this time of quarantine, it’s very lonely. It can be very lonely to not have another adult in your house to lean on and get advice from and share the burden. It’s all on you. But I think that [my ex husband] and I have both done a great job of working things out and making the kids feel safe and loved and taken care of. 

If [my ex] and I didn’t get along I wouldn’t be able to work like I do now. I am the marketing director for Chick Fil Le Crystal Lake, and a lot of my job is on hold right now because a lot of what I did for Chick Fil Le was planning events. Thankfully my kids’ dad is working from home so he is able to have them at his house the times when I have to go into work.

My job has been the absolute best. I started working there when I still had Elsie at home, she wasn’t going to school. I worked from home some, they let me bring my kids with me. After Elsie was in school, I’ve always been around to work around their bus schedule so I can always be home for them to get them on and off the bus and be there for them after school. They are very flexible and accommodating to me and the single parent lifestyle.

I’m a Christian. I am very thankful that I can know that God’s in control and that I have no reason to be afraid because He’s in control. I have a hope for the future in Him. I don’t want my kids to have any reason to be afraid, but at the same time I think we need to be smart about what we do and listen to the guidelines and try to follow those and be respectful of those as well.

I hate divorce, I hate that I am divorced, but I do know now, looking back, that that is what was best for me and I’ve grown and changed so much since then. I would be lost without God. I’m just so thankful that I had him to lean on and rely on during all of this. I look back now and I realize it’s all for the better and I see how much I’ve grown and gained independence and strength I never knew I could have.