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A model survivor

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For 15-year-old freshman Camille Paddock, the industrial halls of Marlowe Middle School were more than just passageways to and from class. They were torture chambers.

When Paddock walked through those halls, there was one major difference that set her apart from her peers. Everywhere she looked were girls with ponytails, buns, flowing curls, or complex braids. Their hair was like an afterthought, an accepted part of their being that they rarely worried about, except when deciding what style to wear for the day.

For Paddock, hair was a different matter entirely. She was only 8 years old when she discovered the first bald spot in her long, dark brown hair.

Shortly after her shocking discovery, Paddock was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called alopecia areata, meaning that her body had begun to attack its own hair follicles. Along with the hair loss came a compromised immune system, as well as increased susceptibility to sickness and sunburn.

With the help of her family, Paddock tried everything she could to prevent losing more hair. Religious application of countless shampoos and topical lotions, doctor visits, and even medical steroids did little to bring her hair back. There is currently no cure for alopecia. Paddock also refrained from wearing a wig, as she did not lose all of her hair, but large chunks of it.

Even while dealing with the physical effects of the disease, Paddock discovered that her biggest struggle would be battling the emotional consequences she faced.

The bullying began when she was only a fourth grader, at a time when children are meant to be nurtured and taught to accept others. Its poisonous effects shadowed her like a ghost long into middle school.

When Paddock walked down the halls, she was greeted with choruses of meows.  Girls would call her a “hairless cat,” and swear at her as she walked past their lockers. Paddock was being blatantly mocked for a condition she could not control.

“I was really self-conscious,” said Paddock. “I never wanted to go to school or do anything.”

The constant bullying began to get to her, plaguing her thoughts and self-esteem, and was made worse by the fact that most of her cruelest bullies were her own former friends. Shared memories and connections did little to shield her from their damaging remarks. Her sadness deepened, developing into a depression, and as the world around her continued to turn, Paddock spent more and more time alone in her room, hiding out from the pain of a life turned upside down.

“She was always upset, and she was always in her room,” said her sister, senior Grace Paddock. “It was really hard for me and the family because you could just see her keep going down.”

The emotional trauma continued to wear Paddock down, and she began to break off old friendships, spending even more time isolated and alone. Her plummeting self-confidence led her into a state of constant doubt, even driving her to quit the cheerleading team she loved.

In the seventh and eighth grades, she had fallen low enough to consider the possibility of taking her own life.

As Paddock’s depression intensified, the situation became harder on her siblings and parents, Melissa and Verne Paddock, though her little brother Jack was too young to really comprehend what was going on.

“My sister [Grace] was worried about me hurting or killing myself because I was being bullied, and she always felt bad that I had alopecia instead of her,” said Paddock, who used to question the reason that she had been afflicted with alopecia.

To try and eradicate the bullying issue, Paddock’s family went to the school multiple times. Paddock cites current Huntley High School Principal Scott Rowe, who was the principal of Marlowe at the time, as the one she relied on the most, as he took measures to help alleviate the bullying.

Throughout her trials, another place that Paddock found solace was in a Facebook page she created as a haven where she could vent her emotions and help other kids that were being bullied. It was this simple page that would change Paddock’s life completely.

As Paddock shared her stories, other kids that were also suffering from bullying began to reach out to her. They revealed that she was an inspiration for them to stand up and face their bullies. The page was a light that pierced through the darkness of Paddock’s depression, and continued to beam through to other bullying victims as well.

“I was inspiring people, having people tell me that because of me, they didn’t kill themselves,” said Paddock. “Slowly but surely, that just built my confidence back up.”

Paddock began to venture out of her room again, reentering the world that had seemingly forsaken her. She had the support of her entire team when she decided to rejoin cheerleading, something she had sacrificed in her time of trouble. She also started hanging out with her new, “wonderful” friends, who did not bully her simply because she was missing some hair.

Paddock decided that she was going to stand up as a warrior for alopecia sufferers, and turned that modest Facebook page into an anti-bullying foundation she dubbed “Dare to be Different.” Paddock continued to reach out to and inspire others with alopecia, and, the summer after her eighth grade year, the alopecia community reached back out to her in a monumental way.

The Global Alopecia Mission is a nonprofit organization that works to fund alopecia research to bring the world nearer to a cure through both public and private donations, and one day, the assistant executive director of GAM, Lana Becker, stumbled upon Paddock’s Dare to be Different page. Becker was inspired by Paddock’s story, and asked her to become part of GAM. That summer, Paddock was named GAM’s first ever junior ambassador.

With the organization, Paddock works to raise awareness about the disease and also fundraises. She has currently raised $800 selling t-shirts, and also travels to high schools and other arenas to present her story and her message.

Not only has the organization helped Paddock to accept her alopecia and work towards a cure, but it has also given her the chance to achieve a lifelong dream.

At a GAM event, Paddock met Randi Moxi, GAM’s global events director, who also directs events in the world of fashion. One of Moxi’s friends, a hairstylist and makeup artist, was able to secure some modeling photo shoots for Paddock.

“Ever since I was little, I’ve always wanted to be a model,” said Paddock, “and then when my hair fell out and I knew that I had alopecia, I just kind of thought, ‘oh, I’ll never be a model now.’”

When the time came for her first shoot, the first step of preparation was to style Paddock’s long, dark brown hair, which began to grow back when she was 13 and has come back in full since that fateful day in the fourth grade when she discovered her alopecia. Then makeup was carefully applied to her slim, pretty face. When looking in the mirror after she was all set to go shoot, Paddock realized how far she had come.

“I think my first photo shoot, when I had my hair done and my makeup done, was when I was like, ‘wow,’ because seeing myself like that after being through such a traumatic event was pretty amazing.”

Paddock has since modeled for some magazine shoots, a brochure for last year’s Prom, and other charity organizations, and is building up a portfolio so that she can continue to further her modeling career.

Modeling has skyrocketed Paddock’s self-confidence since those dark days of hair loss and bullying, but her true passion still lies in helping others. After completing high school, she plans on going to college and becoming either a psychologist or a therapist to assist kids that are forced to walk the tough road of the bullying victim.

Moxi, whom Paddock refers to as her “fairy godmother,”  not only arranged for Paddock to finally get the opportunity to model, but she also helps Paddock to coordinate speeches and school visits, including an upcoming speech at Carmel High School on Oct. 29, during what happens to be National Bullying Prevention Month. She has made great improvements since her first talk, when she was incredibly nervous and relied on her mother to help her. Now, when she bares her soul and her story to an audience, she does is confidently.

“She has a very thick skin,” said Grace Paddock. “Nothing gets to her anymore.”

Paddock’s Dare to be Different campaign is also flourishing, and the government has just accepted Dare to be Different’s application to be classified as a 501(c)(3) categorization, which means that the nonprofit organization will now be exempt from taxes and more money can be given to support alopecia research. Paddock uses the page to assist her in her continued crusade against bullying.

“To the people who bully other people, I would say that they should think about what they’re saying because normally teenagers are like, ‘oh, it won’t really affect her,’ but words really do affect you, and that’s all you think about,” said Paddock. “I say that if you are being bullied, you should definitely stand up or at least tell somebody.”

Paddock’s campaign against bullying has attracted attention not only from GAM, but also from news organizations like the Chicago Sun-Times and even the daytime talk show “Katie,” hosted by Katie Couric. It is possible that, in a few weeks, Paddock might fly out to New York to be interviewed by the famous journalist. The Paddock household also receives constant phone calls, some with invitations to big-name events like the Grammys.

For Paddock, though, the greatest reward has been the impact she has been able to make on people just like her that have struggled with the terrors of bullying. She still meets one-on-one with others to discuss their experiences and show them that they are not alone in their fight.

“I actually met a girl last year, and she was having problems at school with a couple of girls,” said Paddock.  “She actually came over to my house and talked to me, and I guess a couple weeks later, her mom saw my mom at the grocery store and she came up to her crying and said how we changed her life, and I was just completely turned around. It’s a really good feeling.”

 

 

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Holly Baldacci, Author

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