It seems to me that today is not my day. Maybe it will never be my day because I consistently die over, and over, and over again as my owner consistently smashes me into giant green pipes. My 8-bit world doesn’t seem much of a material world, but I guess it will have to make due.
If I haven’t introduced myself yet, my name is Flappy Bird. I am smaller than a popcorn kernel and probably about the same color too. I only have one giant eye and a slit for a pupil. I am not quite sure what happened to my lips when I was a baby, but now it seems to make me a bit top-heavy so my minuscule wing has to make up for the difference in body weight.
Sometimes I feel like my life is worse than that of a cat’s. I do not have nine lives, but rather an infinitesimally amount. I just keep coming back to life like Captain Jack Harkness does. When I die, I don’t see a white light nor do I see darkness. I see those orange colored words. Those dreadful orange color words… Game Over.
Game Over.
Game Over.
Game Over.
Over 2 million people download my town every day just to see me hit my lips on the pavement or the poisoned green pipes of doom. But not once, do they ever ask Flappy Bird how he feels. He is constantly being threatened and blamed for what he cannot control. He can’t control how high he flies; it’s only the matter of how high or low the air pressure under me is adjusted. People are blaming me for cracked screens, anger issues, and their anxiety. (See what I did there? Talking in third person.)
Seriously. Gamers are breaking their touch-screen devices over me. I’m really not that important, but it seems to be that I have taken over the gaming universe… well for now. I’m number one in free games on the Apple Store. It is kind of exciting to think about actually, to be number one in the entire world. But soon my popularity will die down and my 15 minutes of fame will be gone. And I will just be remembered as the one game that people think that it was impossible to crack. Until my time is done, I’m just going to be needing a tremendous amount of Advil.
Do not fret over me, for I will be gone soon. Don’t threaten others over me for I am just a little bird who is trying to make gaming more enjoyable.