Flashback

Just for a second, you look up

Swear that something was there

Though, everytime you look back

There’s nothing to see but air

You get up this time

It’s really bothering you now

You can’t focus on your work

Well…not like that’s new anyhow

You walk through your dark office

And open up the blinds

Everything seems normal

But one piece sticks out in the back of your mind

Outside the window,

You see something you can’t believe

It’s… your childhood self

Still young, innocent, and naive

He’s with your childhood squad

People you haven’t seen since school

You suddenly remember all the hours

You’d spend on video call like fools

You remember the sleepless nights

Cramming the night before an exam

How it actually wasn’t so bad

Because you had your friends close at hand

You feel how much you miss them

How you let your phone ring on the floor

But you realize, even if they have the right number

You’re just not the right person anymore

Inspiration Behind the Poem:

As the years go on, I’ve been seeing a lot of my friends graduating, and there’s suddenly this very real feeling where I just sit down and think: “wow, I’m almost done with school… aren’t I?” Of course, it’s gratifying in a sense, to know that all the drama and stress is nearly over, but there’s definitely something else there, a bitter tone that I just can’t get out of my mouth. All the connections and ties I’ve ever made with someone could just disappear in the end, and that’s terrifying to think about. When I, or any of my friends, finally do graduate, there’s a possibility that I’ll never see them again. Ever. 

From all this going on, the idea of an adult who couldn’t manage to keep in touch with all their friends was the first thing that sprang into my mind when I originally wrote this poem for Creative Writing Club. I was trying to depict the feelings that would come from losing such a strong support system, especially since it’s the sort of thing that you don’t even realize is there. It’s so difficult to appreciate something to the level it deserves when it vanishes before you can even see it. 

Even still, the last thing I wanted to write was an elegy for the end of high school. Rather, I wanted to honor my friends, teachers, and everyone else who’s helped me so far and show my gratitude. As corny as it is to say, I wouldn’t be who I am today without all the people I’ve met up to this point in my life. So, thank you, everyone! And to you, the reader, for stopping by and reading this one chapter of who I am. I really am grateful, thank you!